I can hear the rain outside... My room's dark... I'm tired.

I worked 11 hours today and then did Grow Group... I'm tired, but not quite ready to sleep. I have much on my mind and heart and I haven't even begun to think....

'Twixt gleam of joy and clouds of doubt

Our feeling come and go;

Our best estate is tossed about

in ceaseless ebb and flow:

No mood of feeling, form of thought,

is constant for a day;

But thou, O Lord, Thou changest not;

The same thou art always.

I grasp They strength, make it mine own,

My heart with peace is blessed:

I loose my hold and then comes down

Darkness, and cold unrest.

Let me no more my comfort draw

From my frail hold of thee;

In this alone rejoice with awe-

Thy mighty grasp of me.

(John Campbell Shairp)

New Orleans

My biggest lesson this year...

"The more you do, the more things get neglected."

I remember when I was younger, I used to hate leaving home for anything more then a  day. I always thought I'd miss something when I was gone. This time I felt like I was missing something even before I left.... We drove to New Orleans 16 hours in two days... Needless to say, I finally found some time to think...

How much do I do out of heart felt love?

How much do I truly act out of compassion, desire or even emotional impulse?

I think I get skeptical with overly emotional people... but lately, I've coveted their tears. I know love is a determination more often then not, but to live only out of duty is a slow and painful abortion of the heart.

I left begging God for my joy, I came home with tears in my eyes... A blessing all the same.

It IS a beautiful day... Anyone want to take a walk?  I love you all... and that's from the heart.

-KT

I'm back from New Orleans .... I miss it

Praise God, I've grown.... I'll write more later.

-KT

I got promoted! Then again...

.... I really didn't know what to say when Gina asked. God just always seems to pick me up and place me where he wants, I don't feel like I'm doing anything to deserve all that God is giving me and part of me wonders how I'll even be able to be a good steward of it all.

I'm humbled

I'm thankful

This guy Scott Phelps picked my story to put in his new book  "Aspire" about a week ago... My picture- my story- questions to end that chapter about my life... And I think... "man... me?... what about me?" >sighs<

I feel a pressure more now- to keep on my toes.... but God will do what he wants despite me, no need for me to fret.

I'll be training our new recruits..... Brian Dye wants me to speak at Reload??? I got a raise and the best review in my organization a little over a month ago.

I'm going on the youth mission trip coming up and speaking at a couple youth groups as well as co-teaching a conference at one of my co-workers churches....

I can't do it on my own... I didn't get here on my own. In fact I don't even know what happened. I just want to be a woman of God...

God lead me to a scripture a couple days ago....

Psalm 119:97-101

Oh, how I love your law! I meditate on it all day long. Your commands make me wiser then my enemies, for they are ever with me. I have more insight then all my teachers, for I meditate on your statutes. I have more understanding then the elders, for I obey your precepts. I have kept my feet from every evil path that I might obey your word.

Far be it from me to try to pull a Joseph on those I care about... I don't desire to put myself above anyone... but pray I am faithful as I'm given more.. to His glory!

-KT